The Garden

Months and months of worry, mashing of teeth, bitter commentary, etc, and the decision to “save our church” was to make our garden bigger to feed the hungry. Which of the freaking ten “questions” lead to that answer? When I asked a staff person what was being done to address my concerns they so desperately wanted to hear the staff persons answer was prayer. When I asked how the church was going to cover a $150K+ deficit between October and December in 2008 or 2009 the answer was prayer. I am reminded about a movie. I think it was the movie War of the Worlds. The old one. While everyone was in the church praying, the alien blasted them and they were gone. Horrible horrible. But who says ones outside the church tackling the aliens weren’t praying too. Those working to save the church and the community were taking more action than prayer. It’s like living in a hippie communion. Pray, peace, love, and grow a freaking garden. Where in the hell is Home Depot? Where in the hell is H.E.B? I really have no right to write anything at this point. I’ve been defeated. Only a hand full of folks see what I see and I don’t even attend church as much as I would like. I am not being feed and a garden of any size will not feed me or the members that won’t come or the visitors that will not stay. “Oh but Steve you must participate”. I have participated. Oh Steve you must see the good in our missions”. I do and I have. This is Mission Klein. This is Keeping Klein. Well the heart and soul that made Klein has left me. It is long gone and NOBODY working at that church has the means or know how to fix it. Prove me wrong!! Oh yea, I just read as some of y'all may have also from Harold Wilson (?) "He who rejects change is the archtect of decay. The only human instituion which rejects progress is the cemetery."

I retained my job. I was at a low point in my life. You folks who greet me at church who hug me, shake my hand, smile when I was down carried me through. I am so grateful. I am not liking God at the moment. I have lost my purpose. I don't understand what His plan is. It's been so clear in the past. But as of late I just don't know. If anything I feel the need to be patient. Dear God I've been patient a very long time.